“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”
― Donald Miller,
Expectations are an advantage when you have them for yourself. They benefit in achieving a goal and working towards the progress of career or relationship. But, when you start having high expectations from others, you can be let down, as we all know we cannot control everything and make everyone act or work according to us.
We put ourselves through unnecessary suffering when we have unreasonable expectations for others or constantly put them under a microscope. Of course, we all deserve basic things in relationships, like respect, but counting on anything other than that may leave you sorely disappointed.
Remember that everyone is at a different place on their journey, so their words and actions will reflect that.
The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. This is especially true when it comes to our relationships and interactions with others.
Tempering your expectations of other people will greatly reduce unnecessary frustration and suffering, in both your life and theirs, and help you refocus on the things that truly matter.
If you want to have more successful, happier relationships with people, it’s important that you expecting these things from them.
Stop expecting them to agree with you.
Even the best of friends don’t agree on everything, so don’t get upset when people challenge what you say, or simply have a different opinion. The world would be quite boring if no one ever disagreed; our unique perspectives and beliefs allow the planet to keep evolving and moving toward better solutions.
You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life you are excited about. Don’t let the opinions of others make you forget that. You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you feel that others are here to live up to yours. In fact, the more you approve of your own decisions in life, the less approval you need from everyone else.
You have to dare to be yourself, and follow you own intuition, however frightening or strange that may feel or prove to be. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t get discouraged by their progress or success. Follow your own path and stay true to your own purpose. Success is ultimately about spending your life happily in your own way.
Stop expecting them to know what you are thinking
People can’t read minds. They will never know how you feel unless you tell them. If you have ambiguous thoughts and expect that others will understand whatever is going on in your mind, it is impossible.
It is better to communicate whatever is bothering you instead of hoping for them to know on their own. Just like it is impossible for you to figure out what is indeed running through your friend’s mind. Similarly, no one will know about you either.
In life, you have to communicate with others regularly and effectively. And often, you have to open your vocal cords and speak the first words. You have to tell people what you’re thinking. It’s as simple as that.
Stop Expecting them to understand your
“Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not theirs to make sense of – it’s yours.” – Unknown
As long as you understand you, you won’t feel the need to gain acceptance from others. Then, the fact that they just don’t “get” you won’t really phase you anymore.
Stop expecting them to always do the right thing based on your standard
People’s morals and ethics differ based on a lot of factors, like their upbringing, culture, spiritual beliefs, etc. For example, in some Asian countries, dog is considered a delicacy, and they don’t feel wrong for eating animals we view as pets because it’s what they’ve been accustomed to. Or, let’s say you never swear, but your friend curses like a sailor. Does that make him or her wrong? Well, to some it does, but expecting them to do right in your eyes will always end in frustration, because right and wrong aren’t clearly defined.
Stop expecting people to be perfect
If you have this mindset, you will always be disappointed. People will never live up to your expectations. There’s nothing wrong with having high expectations for people, but understand that when they fail, and they will, they still tried. Be understanding and don’t expect perfection.
Don’t expect people to love and respect you more than you respect yourself
It is the same theory, “love yourself and love will find its way to you.” It is what you give to others that you get back. If you won’t respect yourself, why would anyone else have a reason to respect you? Respect shows in the way you carry yourself and the way you treat yourself. Others are only going to reciprocate what they notice.
True strength is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles. It’s about having faith and trust in who you are, and a willingness to act upon it. Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself.
Today, look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you, and from now on I’m going to act like it.” It’s important to be nice to others, but it’s even more important to be nice to yourself. When you practice self-love and self-respect, you give yourself the opportunity to be happy. When you are happy, you become a better friend, a better family member, and a better YOU
Stop expecting the worst from people
On the flip side, if you’re always expecting people to fail, you’re not giving them the chance to succeed. Encourage those around you. Help them, teach them. That’s how they will grow and be able to accomplish hard things.
Stop expecting fairness in everything
Life isn’t always fair. Sometimes you don’t get the recognition or reward for your hard work; that’s just how it is. Learn to be ok with giving something your all and not expecting anything in return.
Stop expecting things to be easy
If you only ever do the simplest things, you’ll never do anything great. Life is hard. Trials will come your way that you don’t feel prepared for. But know that you can stay strong and do hard things. Anything worth achieving in life requires hard work, diligence and self-discipline. If you only strive for mediocrity, that’s all you’ll ever be.